I don't choose my friends based on how they treat each other, I choose them based on how they treat me.

I am a feminist, but I'm not an extremist. I know what feminism is, but I'm not all women empowerment, marching in the streets. I'm not a die-hard girl's girl.

I'm more about what's right than having the girl's back no matter what.

I knew what my job was it was to go out and meet the people and love them.

Stop rushing me. I want to take my time falling in love with you.

The truly great rest in the knowledge of their own deserts, nor seek the conformation of the world.

I applied to Uncyclopedia Bassists, and was accepted!!

Being with Mary was different because...he wasn't the only one who wanted to make love to her. The beast wanted her, too. The beast wanted out so it could take her.

We can love an honest rogue, but what is more offensive than a false saint?

Take a step toward your dream today. No matter how tiny the step, it will give you the energy and desire to take another.

When I see hipsters wearing Mao hats or Lenin T-shirts, I'm grateful. It's like truth-in-labeling. For now I know you are: Woefully ignorant, morally stunted, purposively asinine, or all three.

I never date anyone my cat doesn't like.

In artillery exercises, women always win because they're more accurate.