I don't compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

But let that not be the moral of my story. True happiness doesn't come from simply getting married. I don't believe a woman's worth should be measured by whether or not she's married.

Heaven ne'er helps the men who will not act.

Jealousy is the fear or apprehension of superiority: envy our uneasiness under it.

I am blessed for what I have, but I believed in it from the beginning. Today, the dream is the same: I still want to travel, I still want to entertain, and I most certainly still want to have fun.

When I sit down to interview people, I don't hold questions and I don't know the answers. They're more like conversations that become lessons.

As Plotinus tells us, we elected the body, the parents, the place, and the circumstances that suited the soul and that, as the myth says, belongs to its necessity.

Competition-ruthless, unforgiving, to-the-death competition-is a crucial feature of capitalism.

A government which does not trust its citizens to be armed is not itself to be trusted.

When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence

If I had engaged in politics, O men of Athens, I should have perished long ago, and done no good either to you or to myself.