I don't consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Though you may hear me holler, And you may see me cry--I'll be dogged, sweet baby, If you gonna see me die.

The most common emotional defense is avoidance (an ineffective coping skill for any stressor) as expressed through denial (e.g., "That wasn't really bad, I barely remember it").

Never, under any circumstances put a man in a position where he no longer cares.

We are angels just like the rest of our brothers and sisters.

Patients are empowered by having better access to their own health information, and then by owning their own data.

The acting part is easy; it's the preparing - lifting weights and getting your body in tip-top shape - that's the hard part.

Vegetation is really controlling what happens...whereas the emphasis in the climate models has always been on the atmosphere.

If we value our children, we must cherish their parents

There is an ineffable but fatal difference in attitude between people behaving naturally and people behaving naturally for a camera.

This is a robbery, boy, gimme them dollars. We hit the lottery, boy, it's in ya wallets!