I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.

Stevie Wonder is just one of those guys that completely delivers everything that you want to be true about Stevie Wonder. He's an amazing human being, and the fairytale exists with that man.

When I want to talk to someone from Golden Boy, I make sure Richard calls me. Bosses talk to bosses.

Deadwood did not kill itself!

I had to remind Gary Kristen often that he was in the covers to field against Sachin not to applaud him

The problem was, I think, that the places I fit in were always falling behind the rimes.

Good teaching is forever being on the cutting edge of a child's competence.

The path of duty lies in what is near, and men seek for it in what is remote; the work of duty lies in what is easy, and men seek for it in what is difficult.

As a professional writer of detective stories, I string along with the ballplayers. I love a ball game.

In the contract days, the big studios groomed us to play particular roles and we would stay with the image they gave us and insisted on.