I don't do impressions.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

Those who are loving become beloved.

We did everything possible to keep up the spirits of the men, but it was exceedingly difficult because there was nothing for them to do.

It is easy to trip over a rock when you are watching everyone else's footsteps.

Abandoning civil society will leave the enemy in control, not by victory but by default.

Every time I get happy the Nana-hex comes through. Birds turn into plumber's tools, a sonnet turns into a dirty joke, a wind turns into a tracheotomy, a boat turns into a corpse.

I care about our employees more than anybody in my company. I care about my kids, too, but that doesn't mean I give them everything that they want.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

In the long run, every man will pay the penalty for this own misdeeds.

Your son at five is your master, at ten your slave, at fifteen your double, and after that, your friend or foe, depending on his bringing up.

I think the love scenes are very powerful and they're not trying to simply show the bodies of the actors but trying to reflect the inner feelings of the character so it's easier in that way.