I don't do jokes about elections so that's probably why it went okay for me, except for the crazy people that are hate-crime people.

I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.

People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll think of better tags."

I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.

I find it actually the height of romance to legally bind yourself to someone because you're really taking care of someone, and letting them take care of you. I actually have no cynicism about that.

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant comment can make me go, "Oh god."

I am just really focused in on what I love doing, but I would be a moron to not take some of my natural talent - I'm not saying I'm that talented, but I have enough acting and writing talent to go.

What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.

I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.

Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.

Celebrate every moment, every day. Celebrate every beauty, all the way.

Never give a man up until he has failed at something he likes.

We've gotta reinvest in space travel. We should've never left the moon.

natural birth is full of magnificent, life-changing wisdom.

We all die. It's just a question of when and how horrible it's going to be.

There's not much in the way of written-down arrangements - just things that Gerry and I have worked out, from playing spontaneously together and hanging on to whatever seems to fall in right.

Ancient stars in their death throes spat out atoms like iron which this universe had never known. ... Now the iron of old nova coughings vivifies the redness of our blood.

Are you out of your mind?" It's not polite to lie to your best friend. "It's a possibility.

when General Eisenhower defined an intellectual as "a man who takes more words than is necessary to tell more than he knows", he was speaking not as a Republican but as an American.

The bad guys have all the fun!