I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

Intelligence is a moral category.

Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.

It is a dark, dark world. If you're going to be in a dark world, I can't think of any better one to be in. I still think I'm very lucky to be in it.

The law protects you from being abused. It doesn’t threaten your lifestyle for someone else to have the right to exhibit their lifestyle.

Toleration made the world anti-Christian.

Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly.

I am the one, Not Running, Not Staying, But FACING

Those men who are commended by everybody must be very extraordinary men; or, which is more probable, very inconsiderable men.

I'm a passive investor. There are people who are very aggressive; they try to buy companies.