I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one.

When you love something, you have to make sure it loves you back, or you'll bring about no end of trouble chasing it.

I ain't looking to compete with you, beat, or cheat, or mistreat you, simplify you, classify you, deny, defy, or crucify you. All I really want to do is, baby, be friends with you.

Over the years, Steve has come to understand I need the clicker. He says it's my security blanket.

I am a surfer, though quite a poor one.

A lot will have to happen globally and personally before the stars would align.

Success has less to do with what we can get ourselves to do and more to do with keeping ourselves from doing what we shouldn’t.

In dedicating his estate to the honoring of endeavors that benefit mankind, Alfred Nobel expressed a lifelong concern that is even more timely in 1972 than it was in his lifetime.

Enough if every age produce two or three critics of this esoteric class, with here and there a reader to understand them.

Being a victim is more palatable than having to recognize the intrinsic contradictions of one's own governing philosophy.