I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

God created women beautiful - so that men can love them - and stupid - so that they can love men.

In our film profession you may have Gable's looks, Tracy's art, Marlene's legs or Liz's violet eyes, but they don't mean a thing without that swinging thing called courage.

Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other.

Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me.

A population may be too crowded, though all be amply supplied with food and raiment. It is not good for a man to be kept perforce at all times in the presence of his species.

You keep on going if you fail.

If there is a God, he is a malign thug.

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain (It's time to roll the dice) - Matrim Cauthon

When all combine in every way to make everything easier, people will want difficulty. I conceived it as my task to make difficulties everywhere.

I'm still young and everyday I want to learn more. I feel I am beginning to find myself.