I don't enjoy cooking when I'm high. And I don't want to be eating garbage because then I'll feel gross.

There's this belief with no merit that media with women at the center applies only to women, but media with men at the center applies to everyone.

That's when you know you know somebody. When you know every piece of clothing they have in their wardrobe. That's friendship.

"Diiiie men." If you play any Broad City episode backwards, that's all we're saying.

I'm talking ideal, I live in heaven, and my stomach is bottomless.

It's interesting, gender versus race. I think people say that to women more: 'Oh, you're my favorite female.' They wouldn't say 'favorite black comic.'

We're [with Ilana Glazer] both totally upfront and proud feminists. We're not being all secretive about it. I feel like we're pretty blatant in our approach.

I feel like a feminist is gender equality.

[Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny and do this.

It's nice to have cool parents. They're cool with everything.

Everyone in New York is fluid and thinking and inspiring each other.

One secret to wisdom:think more, speak less.If you let your words be few, your troubles will not be many.

I wish if I could fulfill the expectations of others. Life is unpredictable and there is no more humanity

Conventional economics is a form of brain damage. Economics is so fundamentally disconnected from the real world, it is destructive.

I just don't think Hillary Clinton has the presidential look.

I'd witnessed for the first time in my vampire- obsessed existence an actual vampire bite. The only problem was that it wasn't my neck being bitten.

There is another kind of wisdom, the wisdom of following - the wisdom of not taking the lead with your ego.

On our plane knowledge and ignorance are the immemorial adversaries.

I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects

The trouble is that everyone talks about reforming others and no one thinks about reforming himself.

If I be worthy, I live for my God to teach the heathen, even though they may despise me.