I don't even consider myself an impressionist, really.

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

GrayG: I feel like I can tell you anything.IvyMac: You can. That's what friends do.GrayG: I've never been friends with a girl before.IvyMac: I'm honored to be your first.

Character is what a man is in the dark

Opinions are a useless currency

Do not forget you mother, when she is old.

Success depends in a very large measure upon individual initiative and exertion, and cannot be achieved except by a dint of hard work.

Every song a hit, every hit a smack!

She gave so many reasons that I've forgotten them all.

You find me a Democrat that's for cutting spending $10 and I'll give them a warm kiss.

Do not worry. Try to appear jolly and unconcerned. I have smiled often with the bases full with two strikes and three balls on the batter. This seems to unnerve.

Immodest words admit of no defence, For want of decency is want of sense.