I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

A lot of people forget that it is not only about how much money that you make, but mainly about how much you get to save from it.

These hands are unlike any otherstrongbut gentlecaringlovingand understanding

Everyone must row with the oars he has.

And may I live the remainder of my life ... for myself may there be plenty of books and many years' store of the fruits of the earth!

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.

If you can envision it, you can have it!

Every damn thing is your own fault, if you are any good.

Forgiveness leads to a shift in perception. It transforms the hurt into healing.

The ability to play with different people is infinitely fascinating to me.

The amount of financial and imaginative energy that's put into mediocrity is just amazing, which I find to be fundamentally offensive as a human being.