I don't even know why somebody's Twittering as me. I don't understand it, and I wish that it would stop. But there's nothing that can be done. It's so terrible.

Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

It’s mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.

I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.

The monsters were never under our bed, but in the forest our future.

Do you know why people like violence? It is because it feels good. Humans find violence deeply satisfying. But remove the satisfaction, and the act becomes hollow.

Years were wasted trying to make him feel better. I never stopped to see if I felt appreciated.

Envisioning the end is enough to put the means in motion.

In chess, knowledge is a very transient thing. It changes so fast that even a single mouse-slip sometimes changes the evaluation.

Cricket is not illegal, for it is a manly game.

Nothing is all good or all bad, nothing is black or white, everything is just messy and human and difficult.

There are no new lies, no new heresies. Man is simply not that creative.

Phil Ramone is very special. Barbra Streisand or Diana Ross... they are the best.

For our discussion is on no trifling matter, but on the right way to conduct our lives.