I don't find slashing and blood flying everywhere to be scary. I just find it repulsive.

The functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.

The whisper of the dusk is night shedding its husk.

Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.

Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.

Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day when one's cow has exploded.

Only once in a generation does anything as fresh as a vomiting detective come along.

The hands of every clock are shears, trimming us away scrap by scrap, and every time piece with a digital readout blinks us towards implosion.

Most people tend to think the best of those who are blessed with beauty; we have difficulty imagining that physical perfection can conceal twisted emotions or a damaged mind.

Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.

Given my heritage and the ordeal of my childhood, I sometimes wonder why I myself am not insane. Maybe I am.

I realize thirty is just a number, that you're only as old as you feel and all that. I also realize that in the grand scheme of things, thirty is still young. But it's not that young.

Theatre sports is the best improv training period.

I own and operate a ferocious ego.

New York has the best tap water.

You need people in a society to have reached a certain standard of living before they can be polite. You learn how to respect others because you don't have to fight as much, you have what you need.

I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.

In a democracy, the most important office is the office of citizen

Do I personally believe in a personal God? No.

One thing I do know, you can't change hatred by showing those people that they're wrong about us.

The world is a great book, of which they that never stir from home read only a page.