I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

The psychopathology of the masses is rooted in the psychology of the individual

It seems like everything I do musically I tend to lose a few fans and gain a few fans, and it all kind of evens out.

I try not to take for granted how lucky we are to have life and breath and opportunity. Once we've got that, we can conquer anything.

Every single day I want you to be happy and full of joy, just like you make me happy by just passing through my mind.

It wasn't easy for me to start in Bollywood because I was an outsider.

When in doubt, always start a new paragraph.

Getting fired is what happens to a manager sooner or later.

I look at you and I see the final triumph of stupidity in the world!

When they treat you bad, you just got to take care of your pride, no matter what.

In both writing and sleeping, we learn to be physically still at the same time we are encouraging our minds to unlock from the humdrum rational thinking of our daytime lives.