I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

We are, without doubt, broken people living with other broken people in a broken world.

Perfecting oneself is as much unlearning as it is learning.

Rock & roll is not so much a question of electric guitars as it is striped pants.

Forgive yourself for not being at peace.

Some of the American military obviously were thinking in terms of fighting a nuclear war. I was opposed to that.

Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else.

I don't usually comment on columnists' ideas of what I'm thinking. That's a dangerous game to get into.

To say a thing simply: I am my history, but the story of my life is always guarded, self-conscious. It is finally the only story we give to someone we love.

Together we can face any challenges as deep as the ocean and as high as the sky.