I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

He who takes his eyes off the goal has a good chance of not scoring!" - Allan Rufus -learningcentre (dot)transformationcoach(dot)help/wp

A child is like a ship. One can never be too young to be steered to the right course.

And he, he himself, the Grinch - carved the roast beast.

To make the child in your own image is a capital crime, for your image is not worth repeating. The child knows this and you know it. Consequently you hate each other.

I want to do a big Broadway musical, at some point. I would love to do that. To do something there would be super-cool.

To be the equal of reality you must learn how to ignore it without danger.

We have 62 counties in New York State and each has its own system of death investigation.

Plans made swiftly and intuitively are likely to have flaws. Plans made carefully and comprehensively are sure to.

The bigger your mission becomes, the greater inspiration you will be given.

But there's a thin line between songwriting and arranging.