I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

We all encounter things that we can't perhaps change and that's OK because surely there are many other things that we can.

Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.

Life is too short to be on a diet.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

To read a poem is to hear it with our eyes to hear it is to see it with our ears.

Socially, it is funny. People are annoyed because, really who is a clown?.

Original minds are not distinguished by being the first to see a new thing, but instead by seeing the old, familiar thing that is over-looked as something new.

Do not conceive that fine clothes make fine men any more than fine feathers make fine birds.

The thing about you Christians, is that you are so unlike your Christ.

Vision is seeing a future state with the mind's eye. Vision is applied imagination.