I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Making money isn't hard in itself, what's hard is to earn it doing something worth devoting your life to

And how unfair it would be to torture your heart in never feeling again, because of a feeling you haven't even tried to understand yet.

Everyone in our generation lives in a world where you're surrounded by all sorts of music all the time. People's tastes are made of combinations of genres.

I want to be a society vampire, you see.

My good now flows to me in a steady, unbroken, ever-increasing stream of success, happiness and abundance.

Focus on giving smiles away and you will always discover that your own smiles will always be in great supply!

Clearness ornaments profound thoughts.

The curious mind embraces science; the gifted and sensitive, the arts; the practical, business; the leftover becomes an economist

Having played the Old Course many times since my first visit in 1981, I am now of the opinion it is one of the best and most beautiful tests of links golf anywhere in the world.

Those who speak against the great do not usually speak from morality, but from envy.