I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

When you allow the spirit to speak through you and empower it with love, you will discover things you didn't know you knew.

Every new situation requires new strategy.

When you give people so much, you don't have anything left for yourself.

Ladies and Gentlemen...we are floating in Space!

We were like gods at the dawning of the world, & our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other.

For me, there's nothing better than curling up in my favorite blanket on a cloudy or rainy day and just knit. Especially in front of the fireplace.

When I was 7, my proudest possession would have been my bookshelf - 'cause I'd alphabetized all of the books on my bookshelf.

I encourage you to accept that you may not be able to see a path right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

It isn't worth it. No money is worth this... [walks out]

A total commitment is paramount to reaching the ultimate in performance.