I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

A busy life is not necessarily an effective life

We all have control over what kind of person we are. Each word that comes out, each action that we take, defines us.

Inside us lies every possibility that is available to a sentient being. Every darkness, every light. It is the choices we make that decide who or what we will be.

Leaving your dreams and living someone's dreams is like dipping a pole into a pool to catch a weaver bird alive! It doesn't work that way... Pursue what God sent you for!

Sweet words are like honey a little may refresh but too much gluts the stomach.

I'm so glad I spent 10 years being sad and lonely.

I don't give a damn if I go to hell.

If home is to have a greater lure than a tavern the wife must be at least as cheerful as the waitress.

The most prevalent poetic representation of contemporary experience is the mimesis of disorientation by non sequitor.

I hate to look at myself in a mirror, and I never go and see films.