I don't know how you can look back with regret if you're at a moment when everything seems fine.

When something is over, it is over.

We just may be the most well-informed, yet least self-aware, people in history.

It seems to me that any full grown, mature adult would have a desire to be responsible, to help where he can in a world that needs so very much, that threatens us so very much.

Originally, with all the shows, we went looking for belly laughs.

You know, you throw rocks in the lake and scientists will tell you you're raising the level of the lake, but all you get to see is the ripple.

Maybe they continued to agree with Archie Bunker - as I said earlier, you can't change people's minds, but you can get them to think.

Life is about having a good time.

That's the heart of it: My shows were not that controversial with the American people. They were controversial with the people who think for the American people.

In the area we're discussing, leadership begins on Madison Avenue, on the desks and in the offices of people who spend hundreds of millions of dollars buying what will get them ratings.

I like getting up in the morning, and I like better having something to do when I get up in the morning.

Everything man needs is in the world.

Zero problems with neighbors' is a value. But another equally important value is to establish peace.

Remember, your goal is to trade well, not to trade often.

The power of the periodical press is second only to that of the people.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

As a kid, I loved storytelling, and I liked the way rappers would paint pictures.

Cheerfulness is a policy; happiness is a talent.

It is more difficult by far to be independent of our own inner shackles than it is of the shackles that others might place upon us.

God bless those runners because they get you the first down, give you ball control and keep your defense off the field. But if you want to ring the cash register, you have to pass.

Preach the blessings of our deeply incorporated civilization by the mouths of our eight-inch guns.