I don't know how you do it [working at office]; I would just get up and walk out. That's what I did for pretty much every job I've ever had.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

Whenever i have Wealthy wealth trust me i will change the history of poverty

Struggle is the meaning of life

Our spiritual character is formed as much by what we endure and what is taken from us as it is by our achievements and our conscious choices.

In our well-policed society we recognize that an illness is serious from the fact that we don't dare speak of it directly.

As a general rule of biology, migratory species are less 'aggressive' than sedentary ones.

Retirement isn't so bad. Give me a tall drink, a plush sofa and a rerun of 'Matlock,' and you can have the rest. Matlock is my hero. He never loses.

I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.

To be seduced by Orators, as a Monarch by Flatterers.

...greatness sympathises with greatness, and littleness shrinks into itself.

I think women are very powerful and I think we're more powerful together than separated.