I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

She had wild eyes, slightly insane. She also carried an overload of compassion that was real enough and which obviously cost her something.

Double face in a person is no problem as long as both faces are more or less the same!

Sometimes a fresh perspective is all you need to get a second wind on the revision process. Try viewing your material on a different medium

The Bible is clear - God's definition of marriage is between a man and a woman.

We don't hear much from revolutionary feminists who are white because they're not serving the bourgeois agenda of the status quo.

If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game.

It wouldn't be a Carrie Underwood album without a revenge song on it. People really like when I do that. I don't mean to. I don't hate men that much. But it turns out so well!

Have an objective to give your bender a theme. For instance, stalking and killing a wild pig with a bowie knife.

The future belongs to thouse with open minds aand open hearts, who can appreciate beauty in all it's forms.

I moved to Princeton, Indiana, and became a professional Farm Manager for that Princeton Farms.