I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Changing yourself is not about changing of what you are. But changing other's perspective that they always think you are.

It's not because I don't want to hurt Delia's feelings. It's because when she is bruised, I'm the one who aches.

The sweetest of all sounds is praise.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

No amount of success - whatever that means, quote-unquote success - no amount of success replaces the reality of being separated from my family for this long.

Republicans will not be reduced to being the tax collectors for the Obama economy.

I can't complain. I'm making a living out of what I do, which is really rare for a lot of actors. The hard part is staying confident and staying with it.

Of course it looks bad when you're not executing. When things go bad, it's not going to look good.

If you want something, you don't wait for the world to deal it out for you. You take it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.