I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

My theory in anything you do is to keep exploring, keep digging deeper to find new stuff.

A bird does not give up flying today because it couldn't find any worms yesterday.

Writing is my love. If you love something, you find a lot of time. I write for two hours a day, usually starting at midnight; at times, I start at 11.

I was delighted to become a popular-culture reference point. I'm still delighted about it actually, and I still find it to be weird.

The love and protection of the Holy Spirit are with you in all spiritual concerns.

Focus on remedies, not faults.

I don't play video games.

If I were not a king, I would be a university man; and if it were so that I must be a prisoner, if I might have my wish, I would desire to have no other prison than that library [the Bodleian].

I literally change on the shop floor. I just stand there in my knickers sometimes.

As for the "anger" of the volcano, we leave it up to the local populations who create their demons, their gods and their divine punishment.