I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

World is suddener than we fancy it.

Evolution is a large political controversy as to what should be taught in the schools. But there is no scientific controversy that we evolved when we talk about evidence from fossils and DNA.

Many of us in our praying are like nasty little boys who ring front door bells and run away before anyone answers.

There has been a seismic shift in the business world. The great classical business principles still hold true but they need to be fused with cutting edge internet technology.

Creation is not your doing, but the way you are, the way you experience life, the situations you attract, are one hundred percent your doing.

The erogenous zone is always shifting, and it is the business of fashion to pursue it, without ever catching it up.

Let’s shut down the EPA. The state knows best how to protect resources.

I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, blessed be his name, is not a body, and that he is free from all accidents of matter, and that he has not any form whatsoever.

Sometimes listening itself may not be enough-some people must be prodded if you are to find out what they're thinking.

I will be ruthless in cutting out waste, streamlining structures and improving efficiency.