I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

If I say you are not free to associate with me, it also means I too am not free to associate with you. I might call you the slave but not less bound by the slavery I have created."- Prince Ikan

To remain pure, a novel has to cast a moral puzzle. Anything else is mere negotiation.

The tablet is not mainstream. Reading off the screen is not mainstream.

Every Jew, somewhere in his being, should set apart a zone of hate - healthy virile hate - for what the German personifies and for what persists in the German.

Songs from the wood make you feel much better.

Every time we say we believe in the Holy Spirit, we mean we believe that there is a living God able and willing to enter human personality and change it.

Your soul mate can turn into your cell mate if the mutual desire for growth isn't there.

If you don’t like the films of Samuel Fuller , then you just don’t like cinema.

I worry sometimes that we're apt to confuse forgiveness with forgetfulness. The potency of forgiveness comes precisely from the fact that it must be done while being goaded by an unhappy memory.

We don't live in a democracy; we live in a hypocrisy.