I don't know where [Obama is from] I don't think he's from where they issue birth certificates – I think he's from Hell.

You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one - I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show.

What we don't have a right to is healthcare, housing, or handouts. We don't have those rights.

Girl, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Good for you, you have a heart, you can be a liberal. Now, couple your heart with your brain, and you can be a conservative.

Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip.

The shadows are only the darkest when the light is at its brightest.

The moment you stop worrying about success is when success will happen.

Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.

If you have a priest that is pushing social justice, go find another parish. Go alert your bishop.

All men are created equal. It is what you do from there that makes the difference. We are all free agents in life. We make our own decisions. We control our own destiny.

Craving is a good thing.In matters of culinary art, craving creates wonders.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

I don't vote for the guy I trust. I vote for the guy who trusts me the most.

America's making a long-term commitment to help the people of Lebanon because we believe every person deserves to live in a free, open society that respects the rights of all.

Did think you were here to kill time listening to Christian music until you go to heaven? We've got work to do.

I am to cover the philosophical side of the debate and so far my only thought is that reading keeps you from going gaga.

I feel most real to myself in the studio.

Only the scenario writers are exempt. These are tied between the tails of two spirited Caucasian ponies, which are then driven off in opposite directions. This custom is called a conference.

If we must part for ever, Give me but one kind word to think upon, And please myself withal, whilst my heart's breaking!

We cannot at once catch the applauses of the vulgar and expect the approbation of the wise.