I don't know whether this is the best of times or the worst of times, but I assure you it's the only time you've got. You can either sit on your expletive deleted or pick a daisy.

The best things in life aren't things.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

The things that matter most are not things.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

Don't give a gift with expectation to get but if you have got a gift always try to give.

The battle is tough but if you reach where you want to go, then at least in some sense it is worth it.

I think audiences are quite comfortable watching something coming into being.

You will never know the fullness of Christ until you know the emptiness of everything but Christ.

It's not the Olympics. It's Concord, New Hampshire, and a homecoming should reflect the community I'm part of.

The days of the Cross are counted. We must deliver the German nation from the pernicious influence of Christianity.

The only place I really get recognized is at Ralphs. Whenever I'm in L.A., I go to Ralphs, and for some reason, everyone there recognizes me.

Better to have a known enemy than a forced ally.

Whether through TV, film, online, app, or web, we will find ways to tell our stories with authenticity, and engage with our viewers beyond traditional means.

I like my voice, but I can't deliver as much as I wish I could.