I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters.

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Everyone may not be good, but there's always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Life can only be as blissful or as miserable as we repeatedly interpret it to be.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

Writers have to be careful not to confuse personal attention with the attention that's going towards the book.

The concept that you are not ingesting rotting flesh sort of sums it up for me.

Life must pass through difficulty in order to achieve any modicum of beauty.

Who letts his wife goe to every feast, and his horse drinke at every water, shall neither have good wife nor good horse.

Oh, I don't wear a bathing suit. I wear a tent when I go out.

It is the ability to make predictions about the future that is the crux of intelligence.

...But why discourse Upon the Virtues of the Horse? They are too numerous to tell Save when you have a Horse to Sell.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.