I don't like littering and I think it leads to terrorist activities.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

We cannot be a source for strength unless we nurture our own strength.

Sometimes, You need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be.

If I was sad or afraid, I would sit in a corner and sing. If I was happy I would jump into the middle of the room and sing. It was how I expressed my emotions.

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.

Working exterior nights in Vancouver, when it's raining and snowing, is a little daunting, when you haven't slept.

I think it's chauvinistic to think that women don't like to get scared.

The supreme nobility of a Roman emperor does not consist in being a master of slaves, but in being a lord of free men, who loves freedom even in those who serve him.

I like being around people who are good conversationalists, when there's a give and take, and you are heightening an idea, exploring it together, that is my favorite thing in the world.

Now that Hillary Clinton is officially running for President I am officially not going to vote for her. It's official.

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.