I don't like mysteries, which is why I want to solve them. It bothers me that there are things I don't know.

If everyone howled at every injustice, every act of barbarism, every act of unkindness, then we would be taking the first step towards a real humanity.

We're all pilgrims on the same journey but some pilgrims have better road maps.

I like the process of pencil and paper as opposed to a machine. I think the writing is better when it's done in handwriting.

There are Mafia families that have bought magnificent houses on the North Shore, although not yet the great estates because they don't want that kind of high profile.

I generally unwind by having dinner with close friends.

Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face.

Everyone looked pensive, which is good cover-up for clueless.

How you handle life depends a lot on how you handle plan B, or if you have a plan B.

…made me promise to cut down on the drinking and swearing, which I have. Unfortunately, this has left me dim-witted and nearly speechless.

I sometimes use some personality traits to fashion part of a character. Most of my characters are composites of either people I know or people in the public eye.

Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation.

The devil says I'm out, but the Lord says I'm safe.

Irish as a Paddy's pig.

I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.

Then if the actor comes up with, "It's more logical to do this," I just change it [a scene] on the spot.

I don't like stereotypes - no kind of stereotypes.

David Bowie was awesome the easiest, coolest interview I have ever done.

I don't want my writing to be so unique that when you apply it to different genres, it seems like the previous show that people know you from.

I'm grateful for doing those drugs, because they kept me from getting laid and I would have gotten AIDS.

Alcohol removes inhibitions. It doesn't trigger criminal violence where there was none before.