I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

It always freaks me out when I go to a sushi place and there's a Mexican.

I know now that what is tragic isn’t the moment. It is the memory.

When chickens get to live like chickens, they'll taste like chickens, too.

Obsessing over something that has jarred your world is called coping.

Photography is a way of putting distance between myself and the work which sometimes helps me to see more clearly what it is that I have made.

I've always believed the lies we use to make our fictions reveal the truth with far more honesty than any history or herstory or life story.

I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.

We need to show that we know and understand and can reflect today's Britain. Today we don't.

Shigure Sohma: [got Tohru a maid costume for White Day] I can't wait to for her to call me master while wearing this. Hatsuharu Sohma: Just don't get arrested, okay?

Obviously there's Netflix, iTunes, and Amazon and all these other outlets. Fake It So Real is now on Fandor, and I think people have actually seen it there, which is fine.

I don’t mind failing, but if I succeed it better be worth succeeding for.