I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

When we [people] are operating from the belief that we're not connected, it feels so dangerous and scary and vulnerable and awful.

And just in case you need reminding, you are beautiful

I got a generation brainwashed to pop pills and smoke pot til they brains rot.

The man who is in real danger is the man who thinks he is perfectly safe.

Man, at least when educated, is a pessimist. He believes it safer not to reflect on his achievements; Jove is known to strike such people down.

Beautiful, Glorious Scotland, has spoilt me for every other country.

When you read that our heavenly home is similar to a bride, tell me, doesn't it make you want to go home.

Mutual funds give people the sense that they're investing with the big boys and that they're really not at a disadvantage entering the stock market.

I don't think I've ever seen anybody with quicker hands than Soriano.

I dont think about the Fonda legacy much.