I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Rage and hurt coalesce into a stone in my chest and as I take another gulp of my father's prized whiskey, I hear myself say, "Tell me about your plan.

You are young still. Naturally, one tries this, that and the other, but what one eventually settles down into is the life one prefers.

A guy walks up to me and asks, "What's Punk?". So I kick over a garbage can and say. "That's punk!". So he kicks over the garbage can and says, "That's Punk?", and I say, "No that's trendy!

Time doesn’t, as advertised, heal all wounds. Although the wrenching immediacy of grief eventually passed, the settled sorrow that replaced it might in its own way be even more intense.

Unless an entire row of people got up in the middle of a performance and left the theater in disgust, I felt as though I hadn't done my job.

Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. All systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth.

I think most of us are raised with preconceived notions of the choices we're supposed to make.

The genius of a folk melody or story is not the feeling that it's original but quite the opposite - the feeling that it has existed all along.

Your soul either feels lifted by something that you read, or it feels squashed by it.

99% of fund managers demonstrate no evidence of skill whatsoever.