I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

One of the most beautiful things in the world I've ever seen or heard is people laughing, even when there seems to be so little reason for them to laugh.

Black folks never bungie jump. That's too much like lynching for us. I'm gonna let you tie a rope around me and push me off a bridge? You must be out your damn mind.

There's something about having a great bottle of wine and a great cigar. Nothing compares to it.

No matter how bad things are, you can at least be happy that you woke up this morning. D.

I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it.

I used to always run off at the mouth and talk about people. I just didn't know that it would make a living for me.

They didn't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he's black. Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now if that ain't black folk, I don't know what is.

With a cigar like in life, you got to have some length, and some girth.

Every group has its idiosyncrasies, but at a certain point we all are human.

The one thing women love more than money is power.

In a world of physical ease, brutal social equality, and reasonable economic equality, exclusiveness in frivolity becomes the most sought-after of all distinctions.

if a sheep eats bushes does it eat flowers too?a sheep eats whatever it findseven a flower with thorn?even a flower with thorns.then what's the good of thorns?

Rivalry discovers that courtesy overlooks.

It's not about finding Mr Right, or that sort of conventional ending, but I do want my characters to have hope - and that's what I do with all my stories.

Greed is but a word jealous men inflict upon the ambitious.

There's a lot of anger on our side. We've been lied about, we have been lied to, we've been mischaracterized, Hillary calling people deplorables and this kind of thing.

He smiles a lot. But I think there might be worms inside him making him smile.

I have considered voting Conservative because I am so against the Labour party.

The simple fact is that the World is too busy to give the Holy Spirit a chance to enter in.

The more a person perceives that he/she is loved, the less they will interfere with the lives of others.