I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

We tend to think of future inventions and discoveries, but in reality, these things already exist in the knowledge bank of the universe.

Silly me, thinking you actually had potential. I thought, Finally, she's realized she's a vampire. Now we're getting somewhere. But now you're just a big fluffy bunny with sharp teeth.

People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives.

Money doesn't buy elegance. You can take an inexpensive sheath, add a pretty scarf, gray shoes, and a wonderful bag, and it will always be elegant.

All that you may achieve or discover you will regard as a fragment of a larger pattern of the truth which from the separate approaches every true scholar is striving to descry.

We need a new concept of reality and a new set of values for things to change in a positive direction. LSD could help to generate such a new concept.

It's hard for them to run away from their record. The Kochs are businessmen.

Proud people keep others at arm's length. Broken people are willing to take the risks of getting close to others and loving intimately.

I've come to see that the way my life shows up is actually my purpose.

Women are jealous of cigars... they regard them as a strong rival.