I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

I wish I could have healed your misery, quenched your sorrow.

Life corrects the errors of logic.

Let me be a free man - free to travel, free to stop, free to work.

Between your faith and my Glock nine millimeter, I'll take the Glock.

You can't trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work.

Things are going round and round in my head--or maybe my head is going round and round in things.

I'll stay in Memphis.

You never know what you're going to share. I can play, I know what is written - the marks, the things the composer tells me to do - and I do it, but it will still sound different each day.

To deny this is to deny our own heritage, our own spirit, and our own souls.

You don't need to worry about Donald Trump and nuclear weapons. You need to worry about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. They have authorized nuclear weapons for Iran.