I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Understanding and love aren't two separate things, they're just one.

The world makes, and hates, bachelors.

Religion Has made an honest woman of the supernatural, And we won't have it kicking over the traces again.

The truth is that the more responsible the media outlet, the more responsive they are to constructive criticism.

Thanks to their decreased brainpower, people aren't diverted from the main business of life by the hobgoblins of opinion anymore.

Where I come from, being a hard man is being able to take a good beating and then get back up again and carry on fighting.

Nemeses aren't born. They are made.

Be kind. It's very needed to be respectful to all.

Memory training is great psychedelic training.

There is no Senate rule governing the proper uses of the filibuster.