I don't really have aspirations to be Tom Hanks.

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Everything changes, and there’s no denying that. But change isn’t always bad, as long as you hold onto who you truly are, and hold onto each other.

Give a man a beer, the remote and a La-Z-Boy and he’s a happy camper! All Things Caveman humor cartoon book will help you understand that hairy guy beside you.

Get Fired Up About Your Life Because If You Don't Who Will?

I can't envision an honest war novel that left war in a positive light.

A life filled with opportunities and encouragement finds more and more opportunities and encouragement, and success becomes inevitable.

this time has finished me.

I think it's very important for someone going to buy a book, taking a class or listening to a lecturer to ask, "Is this the right thing for me to do now? If it isn't, guide me to what I need."

Football's all about 90 minutes

America's foreign policy lacks the backbone to do the right thing in Afghanistan - which is leave.

Nature: She pardons no mistakes. Her yea is yea, and her nay, nay.