I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Maybe it frightened them, to admit that a woman could be master of her fate.

To promise is to grant the future, it's a lie waiting to happen

Never be afraid to travel on a new path.

I was born unworthy. - X-10

Our success as consultants will depend upon the essential rightness of the advice we give and our capacity for convincing those in authority that it is good.

That is the essence of a witch-hunt, that any questioning of the evidence or the procedures in itself constitutes proof of complicity.

Compelling characters are not cogs in the machine of your plot; they are human beings to whom the story happens.

Since in the long run deception is likely to be found out, your character had better not only seem good, but be it.

I was aware of my race from a very young age. Not in a negative way. Coming from an interracial background, I think it is important to understand who you are.

When it comes to celebrating, act like you've been there before.