I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

How can we afford to live in the world in which one has to die [one day]? We are eternal.

EVERYONE IS A KING OR QUEEN, YOU DONT NEED A CROWN TO SHOW IT.

Jesus offers undeserved love, a love we don't deserve and can therefore never lose.

Decorate yourself with the beauty of love.

We all have our handicaps. You're not mine.

Medical research is needed, and I just saw there was a need for help that the government - state or federal - was not spending the taxpayers' money on helping people get through college.

I rarely go into a shop on holiday, because fashion and design are what I'm involved in every day. I need another world.

The future is a bright as the promises of God.

To those of you who seek lost objects of history, I wish you the best of luck. They're out there, and they're whispering.

Whatever truth we feel compelled to withhold, no matter how unthinkable it is to imagine ourselves telling it, not to is a way of spiritually holding our breath. You can only do it for so long.