I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

It's not what you know but the kind of job you do that makes the difference.

In every aspect of the religious life, American faith has met American culture--and American culture has triumphed.

Not many people sleep with other men and when the other man leaves have a nervous breakdown.

A lot of the problems teenagers go through, it's better for them to go through them on their own. If you always have a crutch, you don't learn anything.

Just the way I carry my swag and I'm humble with it too.

Entrepreneurs are great at dealing with uncertainty and also very good at minimizing risk. That's the classic great entrepreneur.

I have been known to go to the grocery store and just buy pepperoni. There's just something fantastic about salty, fatty meats.

It is far better to do the right thing wrong than to do the wrong thing right.

Global terror does not respect national boundaries.

The great and invigorating influences in American life have been the unorthodox: the people who challenge an existing institution or way of life, or say and do things that make people think.