I don't see myself as a stand-up comic doing cynical, mean-spirited or disrespectful stuff. I'm very aware that I don't like to disrespect people too much.

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

I used to dress up and impersonate our next-door neighbor, Miss Cox. She wore rubber boots, a wool hat, and her nose always dripped.

As you get older, you realize it's work. It's that fine line between love and companionship. But passionate love? I'd love to know how to make that last.

As soon as you find the key to success, somebody always changes the lock.

It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.

I love John Waters. There's stuff in it that's beyond the boundaries of my taste, but his movies have always been like that.

I loved the late Gilda Radner. I love Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin.

I've never looked ahead very much in my life. I've never had any grand plan from the outset. I had no burning ambition to do what I do

I think serial monogamy says it all.

Personally, I think any more than two or three kids is not a family, it's a litter.

You took life by the horns and tried to hold on tight, for fear of being ripped to shreds, left bloodied and battered.

But ghosts aren't white and bright. Ghosts are shadows of someone or something gone wrong.

I write separately from the inking up. I'm sure this varies from cartoonist to cartoonist; I find that the writing is the hard part and the drawing is the fun part.

I still work out on a daily basis.

The mind of a human being is formed only of comparisons made in order to examine analogies, and therefore cannot precede the existence of memory.

The argument that today's National Guardsmen, members of a select militia, would constitute the only persons entitled to keep and bear arms has no historical foundation.

Baseball has a special place in our hearts. It is the game that shows us as we would like to be.

I always feel like there’s no fighter that I can’t figure out.

If you know your strength it never becomes a weakness. If the market knows your strength then it becomes a weakness.