I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

That truth should be silent I had almost forgot. (Enobarbus)

All our focus and strength must be concentrated on striving to fulfill the will of God for our lives

When the devil wants to punish his worshippers, he uses the trick of karma.

Make people have a smile when they finish your e-mail.

Another method of eating burning coals employs small balls of burned cotton in a dish of burning alcohol.

We should remember that just as a positive outlook on life can promote good health, so can everyday acts of kindness.

When Harvard men say they have graduated from Radcliffe, then we've made it.

It is important to remember that at first blush, going sane feels just like going crazy.

Hold tight to the mentality of being a student, meaning hold on to curiosity and approach life as a student.

To hate is to deprive oneself of energy better spent on worthwhile endeavors.