I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.

Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

Ah, music, a magic beyond all we do here.

The Adventure called and I followed with my thumb like a character being written by an intractable author. Which, of course, I was.

When you learn to harness the power of your fears it can take you places beyond your wildest dreams.

People are so funny. There's no winning with commenters or anonymous people. They'd be rude that I was overweight, and now they're rude that I'm healthy.

And those who saw, it did surprise, Such drops could fall from human eyes.

I don't intend to be insensitive to the victims and their families but, at the same time, as an actor, it's our job, and we are obligated to portray the characters in the most realistic way possible.

Britney painted her finger nails and it really seemed like they had a blast.

Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art - the art of words.

Every man makes a god of his own desire

Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth But that our soft conditions and our hearts Should well agree with our external parts?