I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.

You don't need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?'

Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

What a tiresome place America would be if freedom meant we all had to think alike or be the same color or wear the same gray flannel suit! That road leads to the conformity of the graveyard!

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

Economics is like the Dutch language - I'm told it makes sense, but I have my doubts.

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.

Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve.

My fight is not for racial sameness but for racial equality and against racial prejudice and discrimination.

One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

It is difficult to offend a New Yorker.

In the end, it doesn't really matter what you paint. It's all just a routine to connect yourself finally with other people.

Friendship is a form of love. In fact, you don't know how it starts or why. It is subject to the caprices of time. It can grow or die without a reason. It can last a lifetime.

Obamacare is a seriously flawed law that makes health care coverage less affordable, costs taxpayers more than advertised and fails to deliver on most of its other grand promises.

Books are to be distinguished by the grandeur of their topics even more than by the manner in which they are treated.

Landlords grow rich in their sleep without working, risking or economising

Why can't you just get married in Las Vegas like normal Americans?

Can you keep your balance? Can you see what and where you are at any given moment?