I don't think I've ever been critical of the money Douglas Adams makes, especially since, as has been tactfully pointed out, I myself have had to change banks having filled the first one up.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

What are you boys doing?” she asks, as if we’re still little kids messing around.“Arguin’, ” Carlos says matter-of-factly.

Acceptability is that secret, which brings in surrender, Which brings in totality, which brings in love, From where arises our Oneness.

The waters wear the stones.

I have many friends that don't claim to be followers of Christ. As far as day-to-day friendship and being together at various functions, I don't think that there should be any difference at all.

When mankind goes back to treating people the way you want to be treated, things will settle, I don't see that happening. I treat people the way I want to be treated, which makes me odd.

Lady," she whimpered softly, wondering if she would meet her wolf again when she was dead.

Life is like a dice game; one roll could land you in jail, or cuttin' cake, blowin' kisses in the rice game.

Every day, I like to make hats that make people dream.

I am more exempt and more distant than any man in the world

Barack Obama doesn't think this country should be number one. If it were number 35 it'd be fine with him.