I don't think I've ever read a food piece or a food book.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

All our sentiments - religious, romantic or any other - are born in the neurons.

Movies can't ruin books. They can only ruin movies.

It is not the part of faith to question, but to obey.

Read to live, not live to read.

I really asked myself, “Oh, my god, how am I going to do this?” That’s what I aspire to, every time I take on a new role.

You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

Every good piece of art... involves first essentially the evidence of human skill, and the formation of an actually beautiful thing by it.

As a society, I think older women are marginalized, but I think that has changed so much in the last twenty years.

It is easy to overthrow a government but very difficult to build a new one.

Jeff Ross has a new show on Comedy Central where he roasts the news. It'll be perfect for people who find Jon Stewart too handsome and funny.